We've had to discover on our own that the birth of the second child is very hard due to the fact that you're first child will begin acting out which includes constant uncontrollable inconsolable screaming, major fits, hitting, back talking, throwing things, attempts to attack the baby at any available chance, etc, etc, etc. Now, don't get me wrong...I knew it would be tough BUT this tough....had NO clue! Basically, I'm having a hard time enjoying our new precious little nugget b/c I'm SO concerned about Lola. I have to say at this point she's not taking the birth of her baby brother too well. She loves him and wants to hug and kiss him at one moment and then wants to inflict pain on him in the next moment. HUH!!! I just thought we had challenges in the past. Well, this is nothing compared.
Like all other tough phases, I know we'll work our way through this and hopefully we'll all be in one piece when we do. Of course, right now it feels like we'll never make it through. Last night I found myself calling one of my girlfriends in tears saying "I think we need to send Lola to a child psychologist". I really felt this way. I was very concerned. This was after Lola attempted to go at Gaines with a running slap....TWO TIMES! I mean she was not going in with a gentle/loving slap just to get a little attention but with a full force punch. When I told her "NO" and reprimanded her explaining that she can't hit her baby brother, she looked at me with a smirk and then started kicking and throwing a fit. She had no remorse whatsoever. My friend assured me we don't need a child psychologist but I was seriously concerned considering she was truly trying to inflict pain on Gaines. I not only felt sorry for Gaines for getting a slap but my heart just broke for Lola. Poor thing...it's clear she's in pain right now and is really suffering with this change.
The past few nights Clay and I both do everything we can to hold back the tears b/c we feel so sorry for Lola. The research says to a toddler bringing a new baby home is like your husband bringing home a new wife. They are confused, feel betrayed and their world has been turned upside down. They say to spend "alone" time with the first child and let them know they are still "special" and when the fits start or when they try to hit the baby to "redirect". If I hear or read one more website that only gives the "redirect" advice I may have to scream at the top of my lungs. CAN'T THEY COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE!!! I've tried to "redirect"! I've tried it over and over and over and IT'S NOT WORKING!!! Please...give me something else to work with!!! Anyway, needless to say, I'm at my wits end and I want to get through this very hard time ASAP! HELP!!!
He's still a tiny little thing. He had dropped down to 5 lbs 15 oz and at his 2 week appt last week he was back up to 6 lbs 6 oz. He was only in the 10-25th percentile...poor thing! Who would have thought Clay and I would ever have a baby in the 10-25th percentile. Even with Lola being born at 37 1/2 weeks, she was still in the 95th percentile. He's eating a ton so I'm confident he'll put on even more weight and before we know it he'll be a big boy!