August 24, 2010

We're making it!

Well, we're making it! At this point, to be "making it" is a good thing. You know, I have to say I'm a little confused about something! Why is it that no one mentioned the fact that the birth of the second child is not 100% happy happy joy joy but it's actually pretty dang stressful due the fact the first child is in complete disarray???? I'm very perplexed that this wasn't emphasized much more and we weren't given a BIG warning so we could mentally prepare. The most I got was "Lola will be a great big sister". Could someone have at least said "BTW...round two is very challenging and basically sucks!"

We've had to discover on our own that the birth of the second child is very hard due to the fact that you're first child will begin acting out which includes constant uncontrollable inconsolable screaming, major fits, hitting, back talking, throwing things, attempts to attack the baby at any available chance, etc, etc, etc. Now, don't get me wrong...I knew it would be tough BUT this tough....had NO clue! Basically, I'm having a hard time enjoying our new precious little nugget b/c I'm SO concerned about Lola. I have to say at this point she's not taking the birth of her baby brother too well. She loves him and wants to hug and kiss him at one moment and then wants to inflict pain on him in the next moment. HUH!!! I just thought we had challenges in the past. Well, this is nothing compared.

Like all other tough phases, I know we'll work our way through this and hopefully we'll all be in one piece when we do. Of course, right now it feels like we'll never make it through. Last night I found myself calling one of my girlfriends in tears saying "I think we need to send Lola to a child psychologist". I really felt this way. I was very concerned. This was after Lola attempted to go at Gaines with a running slap....TWO TIMES! I mean she was not going in with a gentle/loving slap just to get a little attention but with a full force punch. When I told her "NO" and reprimanded her explaining that she can't hit her baby brother, she looked at me with a smirk and then started kicking and throwing a fit. She had no remorse whatsoever. My friend assured me we don't need a child psychologist but I was seriously concerned considering she was truly trying to inflict pain on Gaines. I not only felt sorry for Gaines for getting a slap but my heart just broke for Lola. Poor's clear she's in pain right now and is really suffering with this change.

The past few nights Clay and I both do everything we can to hold back the tears b/c we feel so sorry for Lola. The research says to a toddler bringing a new baby home is like your husband bringing home a new wife. They are confused, feel betrayed and their world has been turned upside down. They say to spend "alone" time with the first child and let them know they are still "special" and when the fits start or when they try to hit the baby to "redirect". If I hear or read one more website that only gives the "redirect" advice I may have to scream at the top of my lungs. CAN'T THEY COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE!!! I've tried to "redirect"! I've tried it over and over and over and IT'S NOT WORKING!!! Please...give me something else to work with!!! Anyway, needless to say, I'm at my wits end and I want to get through this very hard time ASAP! HELP!!! that I got that out...on to the positive! Baby boy is just adorable and a wonderful baby so far! You wonder if you can ever love anything as much as your first child. Well, I'm happy to announce you can! I love this little guy more than anything. I've had to work over the past week or so but I'm looking forward to our time together over the next three months. I have big plans for us. Here are some updated pics of him.

He's still a tiny little thing. He had dropped down to 5 lbs 15 oz and at his 2 week appt last week he was back up to 6 lbs 6 oz. He was only in the 10-25th percentile...poor thing! Who would have thought Clay and I would ever have a baby in the 10-25th percentile. Even with Lola being born at 37 1/2 weeks, she was still in the 95th percentile. He's eating a ton so I'm confident he'll put on even more weight and before we know it he'll be a big boy!

Speaking of appointments, now to the good stuff. Have I mentioned I can see my ankles?!?!?!? Woohoo!!! I wasn't sure I would ever see those suckers again. At my two week appt last week, I had lost 23 lbs. I'm about 8 lbs away from my weight at my 8 week appt. HOWEVER, if you remember, at that appt, I discovered I had put on 15 lbs. That means I'm 23 lbs away from my pre-holiday weight. In addition, even at my pre-holiday weight, I was still 10 lbs from my goal weight so that means I'm about 35 lbs from my end goal weight. I'm confident I'll get there over the next couple months but will have to work hard.

Now, you would think since I've lost 23 lbs that I would look absolutely smashing right?!?!?!? Well, not so much! I look like I just had a baby 3 weeks ago (i.e. I look like I need to lose 35 lbs) and I'm a bit mushy. The doctor released me to start walking and working myself back into an exercise routine. This week we'll start with a gentle walk and try to jog a few blocks and then go from there. This morning Gaines and I went on our first walk. We didn't go far but it was a start. We went down to the local 7-11 so I could get a soda. So, although I was trying to work off some calories, I'm assuming I put those calories right back on with the purchase of the Big Gulp... nice!!! Anyway, I'm ready to start hard-core exercising and hope to get this bod back asap. We're heading to South Padre for a get-a-way in mid-October so I'm hoping I can be in bathing suit shape by then. Not likely considering I have a puffy belly that needs LOTS of work and a sweet tooth that puts my pregnancy sweet tooth to shame which I've been satisfying but it's always good to set goals for yourself....unrealistic ones at that. With that, I have to say, it's VERY nice to wake up and be shrinking vs expanding! Lets just hope I can keep things moving that way. As usual, I'll keep yall posted!

Finally, I want to leave yall with a pic of Lola. I've always begged Lo to smile for pics but she never gives me the big beautiful smile I ask for! She refuses for some reason (hard-headed much???). Even with her refusal, I still continue to ask. Now, when I ask for a big "CHEESE!!!", this is the face she'll give me. I guess it's better than nothing and you could say we're making some progress toward a potential future smile in think????

Off to feed the baby boy now...

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