Not quite sure how I'm holding it together....

I'm seriously not quite sure how I'm holding it together right now!!! As a matter of fact, I feel like breaking down in tears as I write that line. I have to say, this packing/moving thing has been tough. It's VERY overwhelming. I think if Clay were here to be my sounding board, I'd feel better about things. He's coming back tonight thank goodness! (Let it be Friday...)

Here's the deal...I've been packing and packing and packing...box after box after box and don't feel like I'm making a dent in any of it. This has been going on for days and the pictures above show you what kind of progress we've made. It's a HUGE mess!!! I guess it's similar to what President Obama and the economist say about our economy right now...."Things will get a lot worse before they get better". I kind of feel the same thing about packing "Things will have to get a lot more messy and "worse" before they get better". I guess at one point it will all come together but I just don't know how it's going to happen in two days. (Let it be Friday...)

On top of this, it took basically an Act of God to get out of the house this morning. By the time I left, there were no less than 20 guys (and 1 woman) working on our house. We're having foundation work done and the roof replaced so it's been crazy (see pic below...roof being replaced). Poor Lola and the dogs have no idea what's going on right now. Hell, I barely know what's going on anymore. I feel like I'm a walking zombie and have just become numb. I want to be able to cry so hard that all the stress would be wiped away but the tears won't come...I think it's the numbness causing this. Now, I'm dealing with non-stop hammering on our roof and the dogs barking. HELP ME!!! (Let it be Friday...)

However, I was able to get into the office today and get everything packed there. It was very surreal as it was the last time I would walk in and out of that office as an employee of that office. To be honest, I tried to get in and out as quick as possible b/c I didn't want to do all the "good-byes". I'm not good with the "good-bye" thing. It's just easier to walk away. I know there is something not right about this but I can't face that right now. The next BIG hurdle will be saying "good-bye" to all the kids and teachers at Lola's school on Thursday. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. (Let it be Friday...)

On top of all of this, I'm PMSing this week. Yuck!!! (Let it be Friday...)

AND, on top of that, I feel like my "mom-flab" is rapidly expanding. I certainly do hope this is due to the PMSing. Huh!!!

On a good note, Lo has been helping us pack (a little). See pics below. She's been a little fussalicious this week too. She was out of daycare for about a week due to our schedules so I think she has been off her game. She's back today so hopefully that will help her get back in a routine....at least for the next 3 days. (Let it be Friday...)

So, things are a bit busy and overwhelming to say the least! Please keep us in your thoughts and hope that we make it through in one piece. Surely we will...right?!?!? I have to say this is one of the top 3 hardest things I've ever been through. OH, PLEASE LET IT BE FRIDAY...

Back to packing now...

Some inspiration for today

I FINALLY made it back to Dallas! It's been a long week and it feels good to be home (Of course, home is only home for 6 more days and then we will have a new home). I normally don't post a blog on Fridays or the weekend but as I was driving home tonight from the airport I was listening to NPR and heard something that was inspirational to me. It was this:

Nature gives you the face you have at 20, life gives you the face you have at 30, and it is up to you to merit the face you have at 50. - Coco Chanel

I really felt an urgent need to share this. I love this quote and it will stick with me for a while. I certainly do hope I have enough good in me to have a nice face at 50. I'll continue to think of this quote as I progress through the next 20 years.

Since I'm writing a blog tonight, I figure I may as well kill two birds with one stone. I told yall yesterday that I've been taking steps to start "creating" and/or "making" a new life in Austin. How have I done this???? Well, this week I discovered Meet Up (http://www.meetup.com/) and it is the BEST thing since sliced bread. Basically, you go to the website, enter your interest along with the city you live in and up pops groups that have similar interest as you. Genius!!! I had to think "What are my interests and things I love to do". They are my family, good company and running. So, I started there and here's what I found and the groups I've joined. I can't wait to meet lots of fun people with similar interest as us.

South Austin Fun Moms - Hip Mommas!!!

As you know, we're moving to South Austin (Travis Heights) so I thought it would be great to join a mom's group. I think I'm a "hip mamma"...right?!?!? Now, here's the kicker, this group is for Stay at Home Moms (a.k.a-SAHMS). Although I'm not technically a "stay at home mom", I still thought it would be great to join this group as my job has some flexibility and I can "make it work". Here is their "mission statement":

South Austin Fun Moms is for open minded, not-too-serious, fun moms in the South Austin area. We're looking for new members to get together with or without babies from time to time for things like picnics, trip to the museum, lunch dates, and even moms only happy hours! Join us and get out of the house!!

I think I'll fit in here and make some new friends....don't you???

Here's another one I joined:

Another great way to meet other moms. I love being a mom and I love exercising so why not combine the two and join Stroller Friends!?!?!? I'm really excited about this one. Here is a little tid-bit about them:

StrollerFriends is an extension of the StrollerFit (Exercise with your Baby) workout program, and is open to members and non-members. Our children's ages range from 6 weeks - 6 years. StrollerFriends get together in Central & South Austin for friendship and fitness, parenting and career advice, stories and fun. Bring the kids for play-dates, and get a sitter for Moms' Nights Out and the monthly bookclub! To find out more about StrollerFit, visit http://www.strollerfit.com.

Love it!!!

Finally, I joined a running group. I posted the pick above b/c it is a trail running group. How fun is that?!?!?! I figure why not switch it up and challenge myself. It will also be a way to see all the beautiful areas of South Austin.

I'm hoping this will be a way to meet: 1) A and/or some running partner(s) since I hate to run by myself and 2) Some more friends that have similar interest as us. As I was reading about their members, there seem to be a lot of fun/cool people that are looking to meet others with similar interest. Many of the people join the group for the same reason as me....they just moved to Austin from another town...a lot of them have moved from Dallas. Perfect!!! Already something in common. Anyway, here is some more about Austin Trail Running:

Meet others in your local area to Run the trails along Barton Creek. Find challenging new trails that we can explore as a group. Plan group runs and participate in various long and short distance running.

Love it again!!!

So, I've already sent RSVPs for several fun events in March (7 to be exact). I'm going to be a social butterfly and I'm looking forward to meeting new people. To be honest, I don't think it's going to be that hard in this town.

Oh, I also have a good friend who has several good friends that live in Austin. She has told me over and over and over...."You will love them and get along great!". So, the emails have been sent off and I'm in the process of setting up gatherings with them too. One of the couples also live in Travis Heights so we"re "neighbors"...already a grrrreeeaaat start.

Well, 6 days left...I'll keep yall updated on the "move out" and "move in" which is all happening next week....EEEEKKKK!!!

Tonight it's time to take a break from CSI Miami and go watch What Not To Wear....

A whole new attitude

Lola's nursery is all packed up! Kind of sad huh?

8 boxes down and according to Bekins moving company about 293 more to go...nice!!! I actually got a lot more done after I took the pic so it's probably more like 20 boxes down 273 to go. Yea, that's better!

Ok, I've been down in the dumps lately as you can tell from my crabby blogs. Well, on Monday at about noon I decided to turn the crabby attitude around and start being optimistic. Why wait until we move??? There's no reason why I shouldn't start now.

So, I finally decided to pull myself out of the slump that's been lingering and building over the past couple weeks (or months for that matter) and I began to face the reality of everything that's been driving me insane.

First things first....it was time to start packing! I started with the rooms that probably mean the most to me which was Lola's nursery and the living room. I thought "I'll just get the hard part over with". But I was happy to find it wasn't hard at all. I think I had been avoiding packing as I was scared it may cause more pain, anxiety and/or sadness and I haven't been ready to face that. Here's the great part....I found that as I packed up the rooms and boxes it was actually exhilarating and the pain miraculously began to float away. I started feeling ok about everything...funny how that works. This created a whole new attitude within me.

I guess it's like anything else...the anxiety builds most when trying to make a decision or when trying to make yourself start something that you may dread but once you make that decision or just get started, the anxiety subsides. Thank goodness that was the case for me. Once this happened, good news started coming the rest of the day and suddenly everything felt like it had turned around and I started having a positive feeling for the first time in a while. With my new positive attitude, I also decided to be proactive on our social lives in Austin. I'll update you on all of this in another blog. I'm starting to get real excited about stuff there....lots of plans....woohoo!!!

Those are my thoughts for today and this week....

On a side note, I picked Lola up early from school on Monday so I could spend some time with her before I left town. She helped me pack. I said to her "Lola, Let's pack" and the rest of the day she went around saying "pack, pack, pack" over and over. I gave her an empty tape roll and she acted like she was "helping" me tape boxes. Or, when I was writing on the box, she would take her little crayon and would try to write on the box too. She literally sat and packed with me for 3 hours. We got a lot done! Here's the best part....at one point during the evening my keys and phone were missing in action. After searching and searching I finally thought "I wonder if Lola put them in one of the boxes". Well, come to find out Lola thought she would help "pack" and put both my phone and keys in a box. I didn't realize she did this and taped the box up and stacked it with all the others. Oh man! Basically, I had to go through the boxes to find them. Pretty funny!

I'm still in Atlanta auditing away. I'm working 12 hour days right now but things are going well. I can't sleep in hotels AT ALL (averaging 3 - 4 hrs sleep a night) so I don't mind working and I actually LOVE my job and what I do and LOVE the people I work with...who can say that anymore these days?!?!?! I just ordered some Chinese delivery from "Wok & Roll"....HE,HE. Seriously, you gotta love that name. I fly home tomorrow and can't wait to see both Clay and Lola and give them HUGE hugs & kisses....XOXOXOXO. Ok now I'm starting to be cheesy...I think I'm delirious from the lack of sleep....you would think I would be used to it by now. Nah...I love my sleep too much. Ok...time to go watch a re-run of CSI Miami...that show really does ROCK!

P.S. I was doing some research on stress and found the top 3 most stressful things in life were as follows:

1) Divorce

2) New Job

3) New Home

This made me feel better.

I miss my girl!!

Wow! Although I've taken several (almost verging on numerous) business trips since Lola was born, every time I leave it just doesn't get any easier. Even when I look at these pouty face pics it still makes me want to be back home. But, I have many more business trips to come so I guess I'll have to get used to this ache I feel inside when I'm away.

I don't have much time tonight. Things are crazy this week but wanted to check in to say "Hola". Basically, just got back to hotel after a long day of auditing and it is 9:11 p.m. eastern. And, I still have a report to work on tonight. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't leave my laptop charger at the office so I'm on a mission to get as much done before the laptop dies. Of course, I took it upon myself to squeeze in a blog...OOPS.

Ok. I've got to get going but I have some updates on packing, my attitude, things happening in Austin, etc. All good news so I can't wait to share.

Plan Toys

Once again I was not able to get pictures uploaded from our camera and Clay left with the laptop. So, hopefully next week I can get the pictures uploaded and post to blog. Until then, I'll have to resort to either recommendations of my favorite things and/or older pictures.

Plan Toys is my new favorite toy brand. They have so many adorable things that are just perfect for a little 1 yr old or even kiddos younger and older. They are also a green company so they reduce, reuse and recycle and use green materials, green manufacturing and a "green attitude". Always a plus!!! They create toys to inspire kid's imagination and promote physical and intellectual development. Both of these things are something we always look for before purchasing toys for baby Lola.

Clay and I got Lo the little shopping cart above for her birthday. She loves pushing things around (usually the highchair or any other kind of chair she can get her hands on) so we thought this would be two-fold and act as a shopping cart and walker. She's had some good times with it so far. She pushes it all around the house and stops to pick up little objects to put in the cart. You go through the cart and it could have anything from a doll, to a puzzle piece, to a spoon, to a dog bone. It's cute. Memaw bought her the little drum set above. It is adorable and Lo loves playing on it. She now has a tambourine, drum set, guitar, baby baby grand piano and a xylophone. I love it b/c Lola is able to express herself through music with these toys. Hopefully she is taking after her father on the musical side. Anyway, other than her dolls and cell phone, these are some of Lo's favorite toys and I highly recommend them.

I got both of these toys at Baby Bliss (http://www.shopbabybliss.com/) which is my favorite baby boutique in Dallas. This definitely makes the list of "Things I'll miss most about Dallas" and I'll drop in to visit any time I'm in town. My last stop into Baby Bliss I was able to buy some adorable outfits for the spring. I also found some cute shoes. Below are a some I got by See Kai Run (http://www.seekairun.com/), my new favorite shoe brand. They have soft soles, their flexible and very easy on the feet for our new little walker. They are specifically designed to promote the development for babies feet. You wouldn't believe all the adorable shoes they have for both boys and girls. I love them!

I'm guessing this will probably be my last blog for the week....bummer. I'll give it my best shot to get another one up but things are a little crazy this week....actually for the next two weeks. I'll be in Atlanta all week and Clay will be in Austin. I cried this morning when Clay left. I just wish we could all be together again as a "normal" family. I put that in quotes b/c we are actually far from "normal" but you know what I mean.

It's especially hard to be apart when we have so much going on in our lives. This is usually a time when we need to lean on each other and support each other but we're apart. Plus, we absolutley HAVE to start packing at one point as we move in a week and a half (which of course is the main points of stress). I still can't believe it. I guess that day will be here before we know it. I kind of feel like I'm on the verge of a break-down. Actually break-down already came, I'm just hoping to stabilize it and get through the next two weeks without being committed to some sort of luni bin...I don't function well under lots stress. Who does really? And if you do, please give me some advice as long as it doesn't consist of alcohol, medications, etc...he,he. Oh man...we'll get through this in one piece...right?!?!? I just want to get all of this over with so we can move on and start our life in Austin. There will be struggles there too but I think once we get into a routine we'll all be very happy (Including Gammy who can't even think about it without crying).

Once again, another crabby blog. I'm sorry. Surely after we get moved and all these stresses are off our shoulders I'll be able to post some fabulous uplifting blogs. I feel I definitely will. In the meantime, let me get through this stressful period and then the fun Amy will be back....

What is wrong with me?

So, I'm exhausted and all I want to do is go to bed, put an episode of CSI Miami on and read my LAST Domino magazine (BTW...I'm so upset Domino folded. I went into a mini-depression over this....not sure where I'm going to steal my decorating ideas from anymore). Now, I find myself sitting at the computer writing. Why do I do this? I mean don't I get enough computer time during the day at work. But, I thought I would just drop a "quick" note. Of course nothing is "quick" with me when it comes to writing but I'm going to give it a shot.

Here's the deal....With Clay gone, I'm home alone at night and have been for the past two weeks so I have no one to vent to and complain to when I'm feeling something. Thank goodness for the blog. I'm basically using it to make me feel better about life in general. I think I've said this before but it's a good replacement for a psychiatrist and it's free...Woohoo!!!

I'm going to summarize "quickly" why I feel horrible tonight (lately it seems to be something different every night for some reason). You recall in the blog below I mentioned that as a "single" parent it's really hard to find time to eat? My lack of eating was the only thing giving me a sense of relief about not exercising. Well, tonight that all changed...I found time to not only eat but scarf down two sandwiches in a matter of minutes. Yes, I said TWO sandwiches. The first one was a turkey sandwich with avocados and mayo (it was delicious). Then I took it upon myself to make another. This time I changed it up and made a pimento cheese sandwich (it was yummy too). THEN, I scarfed down four millionaires/turtles that my dad bought me for Valentine's. Oh my! Lola wouldn't go to sleep at a decent hour and that is all I wanted tonight...I was so exhausted and just needed to pass the time. I feel like I don't know how to sit and watch TV anymore so I just decided to eat and eat and eat.

So, basically, I'm bloated and disgusting right now. Oh man...what am I going to do? And, better yet WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Not only that but while I was scarfing down the sandwiches I just let Lola scarf down the dog food. She had been wanting it all night (this is a constant thing) and I finally just gave in. The exhaustion can make you do crazy things I guess.

In my defense, I had a lot that went down between 5:00 and 6:00 pm. Again, I'm too exhausted to get into major detail so I'll make a long story short...We close on our house in 2 1/2 weeks. Contract is settled and all we have to do is make it to closing on 2/26 and we actually walk away with cash in our hands. Well, a scary storm blew in on Tuesday night. I grabbed Lo and the dogs and we went into the closet. Luckily, it only lasted a couple minutes. I noticed yesterday that some shingles came off our roof during the storm. Not a big deal right?!?!? You would think but not just a couple shingles came off. Apparently the roof is "unrepairable" and we have to replace it. ARE YOUR KIDDING ME!!! WE'RE 2 WEEKS FROM CLOSING AND THIS HAPPENS!!! That definitely called for all caps. Basically, we have a 1% deductible on our homeowners policy so our profits from the house are slowly dwindling down. To make matters worse there is NO WAY we can get it repaired before the closing so I'm assuming it will be pushed back and I'll be a "single" mother longer than anticipated. SERIOUSLY...who has this kind of luck???

So, that's why I ate and ate and ate tonight. HUH!!! Life can be frustrating but as usual we'll make it through. I wish Clay was here!

Lately, I kind of feel like I'm always crabby on the blog. I need to make a point to be more up beat in future blogs. Speaking of, my favorite blogger "Crabmommy" had a HILARIOUS post the other day. You HAVE to read it...it will make you laugh out loud. Here's the link:

http://crabmommy.blogspot.com/2009/01/grace-in-small-things.html

On a lighter note, I've been meaning to post these pics. Lo LOVES talking on the phone. She gets real serious when she is on the phone. She'll even push the buttons on the blackberry (BB) like she's typing a message...she takes after her mom here b/c I'm obsessed with my BB. As you can tell from she was having a very serious conversation.

Keep our family in your thoughts. Tomorrow Paw Paw (my dad) is having surgery. We're confident it will all go smooth and he'll have a fabulous recovery.

Massive fatness/flabness

Oh my!!! This being a single parent thing is KILLING me!!! AND I hate feeling the way I do right now...

Let me recap...Usually I run at 6:15 a.m. every morning. Well, with Clay gone that doesn't work so I've tried other options such as drop Lo off and meet my running partner, Angie, at 8:00 a.m. then rush back home to make a 9:00 a.m. conference call stinking and all. Or, meet around lunch time. Or, meet in the afternoon in between meetings but before Angie picks up her kids from school. Of course, this all sounds great in theory but when I attempt to make it work it just doesn't. Something always happens and things don't go smoothly and time doesn't allow me to squeeze in the run. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!?!?!?

Basically, I've been averaging about 1 time a week compared to my normal 3 to 4 times a week. It really sucks I must say. Here's the MAJOR problem. I won't run on my own so if Angie can't meet me during one of those crazy times mentioned above then I'm just not going to run which brings me to an excellent question "What in the world am I going to do in Austin when I don't have Angie?". I've given this a great deal of thought and I've come to the realization that I will have to join another running group and begin training for another half marathon as much as I don't want to. I figure I can start a training program, meet some people and then train on my own. I wish I would just force myself to do another half but I just don't think I can do anymore 5:30 a.m. Saturday runs AND 10 mile runs. Oh, it kills me just to think of it but if this is what I have to do then I'll do.

So, I bet you wonder why I'm so obsessed with this. Well, I've been scoping the bod and it seems to be getting flabby like and is slowly but surely losing it's tone. I realize this naturally happens when your verging on turning 33 hence the reason why I HAVE to run 3 to 4 times a week. So, I've got to get on roll and make it work. I guess once we get to Austin "officially" it will all work out. Plus, I plan to start yoga again....at least once or twice a week. Can't wait!!!

Luckily, as a "single" parent, it's also hard to find time to eat. So, although I'm not exercising as much as I'm used to, I don't think I'm gaining weight b/c I literally don't have time to eat. I basically go and go and go until 10:00 p.m. when it's time to hit the sack. It's all craziness!

Tia Molly took this pic of Lola. I can't get it to rotate so you'll have to tilt your head sideways to get a good gander at it. Isn't it cute?!?!? And, you have to love her little converse shoes (I need to get a new pair BTW...I'll put on the "to do" list now).

Anytime I feel horrible about myself for not exercising (like now), I can look at this pic (and many others) and it makes me feel so much better....it gives me a sense of freedom and makes me happy. Of course, I need to be looking at a picture of Heidi Klum (like the one attached above) so I'll get off my @ss and get out there and run even if I have to do it on my own. If for anything, running helps alleviate all the tension I tend to feel on a daily basis (which is massively building now with everything going on). I just need to tell myself once everything is back to "normal", I'll find my routine and get back on track. In the meantime, I'll look at pics of Lo to help calm my nerves and look at pics of Heidi Klum to help motivate me. As usual, I'll keep you posted.

A Balloon for a Blunderbuss

Well, I'm totally bummed! Clay ran off with our laptop and I'm not able to upload pictures. Therefore, there will be no new pictures this week. Instead of reacting like I normally would which is call Clay and yell at him for taking the laptop without my knowledge, I thought I would be optimistic about the situation and post some of Lola's favorite things. We'll start with her favorite book...

"A Balloon for a Blunderbuss" is Lo's favorite! I'm not real sure why she always chooses this one but she does. For some reason, she absolutely loves it. Due to this, we read it numerous times a day.

This book was written/published in 1961 so it's an old one. It has a series of outlandish swaps: a butterfly in the hand earns a wishbone, which in turn can be exchanged for a kite with a tail, then a straw hat, until eventually a tower is traded up for a small army and even ''11 towering icebergs". Something about it really brings joy to Miss Lo and we enjoy it too. I love that the illustrations are all done in pen and ink so it's simple yet inspiring. Lola loves pointing and hooing at all the illustrations each time we turn the page.

I have some other things to tell you too but I'm kind of tired and not feeling so hot. I'm actually under the weather a little. Clay is back in Austin and I'm exhausted. Plus I have a work conference call at 9:00 this evening...yuck!!! With Clay being gone, I can't work late so I have to squeeze things in after Lola goes to sleep. Oh, and I still need to pack. Lord help me!

Oh, I almost forgot....Lola had her 12 month doc appt yesterday. I was in shock that over the past 3 months she has only gained .5 lbs. The doctor said this is completely normal and they tend to grow a lot slower after a certain point....makes sense I guess. The appt was pretty much horrible! She had 4 immunization shots and it broke my heart to see her cry so hard. On top of that, she has an ear infection in both ears...didn't even know it (ANOTHER "I'm a horrible mother moment"...how many of these have I had exactly?!?). So, she is back on antibiotics. Hopefully this will be the last time for the season. And, hopefully she'll sleep through the night tonight unlike last night....we were up for hours until I finally just put her to bed with me so I could get some shut eye before the alarm went off at the break of dawn. Ouch...it always hurts so bad when that alarm goes off. Anyway, here are her statistics from the appt:

Height - 30 inches - 75th percentile
Weight - 23 lbs - 75th - 90th percentile
Head - 47 cm - 90 - 95th percentile (poor baby girl...her head is really big)

She's still a big girl!!!

One thing I find interesting about the baby check-up appointments is you always walk in feeling so confident and you think your child is advancing so quick and is basically a "genius". Then, they have you fill out questionnaires on the baby's development and I start panicking ...."Is she shaking her head yes & no", "Does she say multiple words", "Does she follow commands", etc. All of the sudden I forget everything she does and go into panic mode and start thinking she may be autistic. I know...once again a little extreme...that's how I operate though. It usually takes spending an evening with her reviewing the form and diligently observing her before I feel a sense of relief and think "Ahhh...yes...she is doing all of that". I swear I'm going insane sometimes...I can be a real nut-bag you know! Especially when it comes to baby Lo. I guess we're all like this as parents....right?!?!?!?

P.S. What is everyone's take on the MMR immunization? I didn't think they got this one until they turned 2 but apparently that's not the case b/c Lo got a shot of it yesterday. I'm a little torn on this and wanted to do some research on it before giving her this one. Now I'm in panic mode over this. Yep...it's official...I'm one of those "crazy" mothers. Good Lord again!!! I think it's time to call it a night....

Happy Birthday Lola!!!

By the time this blog posts, it will be Lola's Birthday down to the minute. Lola Ruth was born on February 7, 2009 at 1:12 a.m. These photos were shot minutes after she was born. Gosh...looking at these pictures bring a tear to my eye. Happy tears of course. But, I just can't believe it's been a year.

When babies are first born, they don't always look so cute. Heck...they go through a lot to get to this world and they are all scrunched up for 9 months in the belly. I was VERY concerned that Lola would not be cute or would have some sort of disfigurement (not that I would love her any less if that was the case). I know most people don't say this out loud but ALL pregnant women have this fear. On the day she was born, we just thought she was beautiful. It's funny looking back b/c you see how scrunched up and puffy looking she was. No matter what she was still beautiful to us.

Although I was exhausted due to no sleep for over 48 hours, I still remember the exact thought and feeling I had when they showed Lola to me for the first time. It's a feeling that I could never put down on paper b/c it just wouldn't do it justice. It's a feeling I'll never have again. Before I ever saw her, Dr. Farrow's first comments were "She's definitely her father's daughter"and then she said "she's beautiful" which gave me a sense of relief...my child was not disfigured. For those of you who didn't know, Lola was born with highlights. Can you believe that? She literally had little blond tips. Not only that but this child was born with a head full of hair. I'm not kidding. Her hair was thicker when she was born that it is now. No wonder I had such bad indigestion when I was prego....it was seriously severe.

Lola has changed our lives in so many ways. She is my inspiration on a daily basis. I feel that since I've had her, I've become a better person in many ways. My heart is bigger and every time I see her it continues to melt...even 1 year later.

I've been torn this week. I LOVE this age more than any stage so far and Lola is just a blast and an absolute joy to be around but I'm also soooo sad that she's not an infant anymore. I'm not even an infant person really. Where did the time go???? How has she grown up so fast???? Before we know it, she'll be a full blown toddler then a teenager then an adult. I know people often say "time flies" and "they grow up so fast" but it's really true. I'm happy to see this little girl grow up and become a fabulous woman one day.

Happy Birthday Lola!!!!

Time to go to the hospital...

Can you believe 1 year ago to this day I was sent to the hospital to have a baby? I was induced at about 8:30 or 9:00 p.m. on February 5, 2008. 360 days ago...Oh my! Little did I know it would be another 28 hours before Lola was born. Boy...it was a wild ride but worth it!!!

No pics today. I wish I had the ones Clay snapped of me in the labor room but I can't find them anywhere (We spent lots of time watching CSI Miami that day and the next and the next). I'll search for them and post another time. Instead I attached a pic of the hospital where Miss Lo was born. It was fab!

It seems like it was just yesterday I was wobbling in there to have a baby...in heels I must add. Why heels??? Throughout my pregnancy people told me "Oh, you'll give up your heels soon". Well, I was hell bent on not giving up my heels and I didn't. I sure enough pranced into that hospital with heels on and was ready to deliver a baby. My doctor was pretty much in awe over it...pretty funny!

Clay is in Austin all week so Lo and I have been on our own. Unfortunately, it's going to be like this for the next 3 weeks. It will be tough but I know we'll make it through. I can't wait to be together as a family again.

I guess I should start packing soon! Nope...Instead I think I'll go watch a rerun of CSI Miami instead (I'm obsessed).

The bane of my existence

At this point in my life the "bane of my existence" is the BOTTLE!!! I've been thinking/saying this for a while which drove me to do some research on this term. What does "the bane of my existence" mean exactly? Well, it refers to a person and/or thing that is a constant irritant or source of misery. As I continued to research the term I found that over the years and specifically today the term is most often applied to something that may be profoundly annoying to us but is certainly bearable. Makes sense right?!?!? So, I have to say the bottle is the bane of my existence as it is "profoundly annoying" to me right now but it is still "bearable". Hmmm...

Why??? Well, EVERYONE says that you should ween your baby off the bottle at 12 months (this is 2 days from today for Lola). I've kind of been obsessing about this over the past two months (or more depending on who you ask). It's literally driving me insane hence the reason for my "misery". I keep thinking "How am I going to do this?". Really...HOW!?!?!

Ok, so Lo isn't completely attached to the bottle and she has been taking a sippy cup for a good while now but what about those mornings (like this morning) when she wakes up at 5:15 a.m. starving. Well, at that point, all I want is some sleep so I load up a 9 oz bottle and she takes it down in a matter of minutes....then is back to sleep for a couple more hours. Ahhh!!! Seriously, we need the bottle as parents.

I haven't really understood exactly why it is SO important to take the bottle away at 12 months so I researched this point further. Apparently, it makes babies teeth rot if you keep them on the bottle too long. What's the big deal about that right?!?!? My sister-in-law, Molly's, teeth rotted a bit when she was a baby and she had silver caps but she loved and embraced them....still to this day she is very proud of those silver caps by the way. So, is this the only reason b/c I'm not sure it's enough.

I decided to ask every friend and person I know how they handled the bottle thing with their baby and every single on of them cut their kids off "cold turkey" right at 12 months. This leads me to believe there is something more to this, however, I'm not sure there is....is there???? I think this is just what the doctors tell us to do so we do it. Understandable though.

With that, I thought even further into this. The fact is whether she is 12 months or 6 years old at one point she has to come off the bottle and it won't get any easier the longer we wait. So after fretting over this for over two months I've come to the conclusion that I guess I'll just cut her off. However, I think I'll wait until Monday after Lo's 12 month doc appt. Who knows....maybe the doctor will give me some extra reassurance.

Another funny thing I have to tell you. Well, it's not really "funny"....it may actually be verging on sad. As I've been asking around (for two months) about the bottle thing I realized that I've gone 12 months without changing the nipples on Lola's bottles. Oh man...that poor child! She's basically been using infant nipples since day 1. How sad is that?!?!?! Every time I tell another mother this fact they look at me with their eyes wide open and that is when I know they are thinking "Are you kidding me!". I mean Lola sucks down a bottle in minutes so I just never realized I should be changing it. Ooops!!! Oh well, I guess it's just another one of those "I'm a terrible mother" moments and I'm fairly certain I'll have many more. Oh the joys of parenthood....you gotta love it!!!

I'll miss the armadillo!

Here's another thing I'll miss (and not miss) about Dallas. We have a couple of pet armadillos that live under our house. I love it b/c our house/yard is like Disney World for all the little creatures and crawlers. It's fun! We have all these little animals hanging out around the house and they're all pretty friendly too. Lo saw the armadillo on the back porch the other day (see pic above) and got soooooo excited....she literally went nuts!!!

Here's what I won't miss....the armadillos have a tendency to come out in the middle of the night and run around. You can hear their backs hitting the house every time they decide to make a move. Then they drag things across the yard and back under the house they go. And, once again, their backs hit the house. Well, this causes our dogs to go CRAZY!!! So, basically, we finally get our child sleeping through the night but then the armadillos come out with vengeance and drive our dogs up a wall. Oh, I guess we'll never get a full nights sleep again. I swear we're cursed. Welcome to parenthood I guess...

The good news is the house we're moving to in Austin should have some creatures and crawlers too. We're moving to a beautiful old school neighborhood with tons of trees. We still haven't decided on the exact house yet...down to the final two. HUH!!! We have to do that asap since we're scheduled to move February 26th.

One of the houses we've been looking at is an old farmhouse built in 1886. It was moved into the neighborhood and renovated in 1998. What I love is that they kept the original farmhouse look....kind of shabby chic I guess. This style of house is the extreme opposite of our house now but it's still really cool. Our thought is that it will be even more groovy and cool once we get all of our modern furniture and art work in there. I think it could really be funky and fun! We figure we should have fun with it so why not live in an old farmhouse from 1886 right?!?!? It's very "Austin" and there's something a little romantic about it too. Here are some pics of the house. I can see Miss Lo swinging on that little swing now. Oh, it will be too cute (if we can finally make a decision that is).