Out of breath...AGAIN!

I've been having major breathing problems lately. I just put on a pair of freshly washed jeans and it was a struggle like no other. It put me completely out of breath. I even started feeling a little light headed and thought I could possibly faint due to the lack of breath. This is coming from someone who 10 months ago could run 8 miles in Austin with major hills. Now, I don't even have the endurance to pull up super tight maternity jeans. Awesome! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?!?! At this point, I'm not sure how I'm going to get the jeans off. I think that will be just as challenging as pulling them up. Oh, and my circulation is being cut off...in maternity jeans! How does that happen considering there is an elastic band in the waist???? This just keeps getting better and better! Only 4 weeks and 2 days to go....

Clay took this pic of Lo playing on our front porch last weekend after the rain storm. I loved it for some reason! I think it may be the big blue eyes.

Lola has been really good lately. She still comes in our room every night but I've decided not to worry about it. I think it will all work out and I don't want to force anything right now. The more and more I talk to other parents, it seems they have and/or had the same problem with their toddler(s) at one point. My brother was the same way...never really slept and always went to my parents room in the middle of the night. The other day I asked my dad how old Adam was when he finally stopped waking up to come to their room. His comment was "We decided we should put a stop to it when he started shaving." I cracked up! That is a little over-exaggeration (I picked this trait up from my dad) but he did go into their room until he was like 8 yrs old I think. Anyway, this is just one of those things I'm hoping will work its way out and I really hope it's long before Lola is 8 yrs old. Yikes!

We're also doing a good job working through the whiny moments. Even when Lo starts to whine, I can say "Lola, I can't hear you when you whine" and she'll immediately change her tone and ask again politely. She'll usually even give me a "Please" at the end of the request. I'm glad she's finally getting the NO Whining Rule!

Lola also still seems super excited about the baby. Of course, she doesn't clearly understand what is about to happen but she's always asking about him and wants to touch my belly. She tells everyone "Baby brother will be here three August." I continue to correct her and clarify that it's August 30th but she insist on saying "three August"....that's ok....I'll take any date in August. AND, we still don't have names. We continue to talk about it but haven't quite come up with anything to put on a short list. Not real sure what to do about that...should be interesting what we end up coming up with!

Clay and I are having a "date night" tonight. I really hate using that term but I figure it's the best way to explain the evening ahead of us. After this pregnancy, I'm surprised Clay still wants to spend a night out with me alone but I guess he still loves me through it all. We actually need to make a point to get out for "alone time" more often. Especially after the baby gets here. Tonight, I'm going to attempt to slip off the ol' flip flops and will try to wear a pair of heels. This should be interesting! Will let you know how it all turns out. I figure I'll either fall and break some bone and/or have to have the shoes surgically removed from my feet due to the mass amount of swelling that will take place throughout the evening. Either way, I end up in the ER. Anyway, prior to going to the ER, our plan to have a nice peaceful child-free dinner and then we'll go see one of our favorite bands Iron & Wine. I certainly do wish I could enjoy the evening with an adult beverage:) Soon!

Run Like A Mother

I'm sure I mentioned one of the reasons (among many) this pregnancy has been hard on me is that I had to give up one of my passions in life - running. Those of you that have followed the blog from the beginning know that I discovered running after I had Lola as I was looking for a way to get in shape. Before this point, I hadn't run since my last soccer game in 1994. When Lola was about 3 months old, I joined a running group and started training for a half marathon. Ever since I've developed a love for running. Very strange I know...something 3 years ago I never thought would come out my mouth.

With that, I've missed running more than words can explain and I'm biting at the bit to get back to it as soon as the baby is born. Not only to help me get back in shape but to help my stress level. Running was always GREAT for my anxiety and also helped my obsessive-compulsive disorder. However, after this pregnancy, I've been nervous that I've fallen so far out of shape that getting back into running will be tough. I've often doubted myself too thinking I won't ever be able to run like I did before and possibly will never really be able to do it again. It's not only a physical commitment but it's a mental commitment and I feel I've lost a lot of my spirit throughout this pregnancy. Anyway, I was thrilled when I found this book "Run Like A Mother". They also have an excellent blog - http://runlikeamotherbook.com/. The book and blog have helped me find the inspiration I need to get back into running. I can't wait for the day when my body will allow. I'll be ready to rock! Here's a good description of the book I found on Amazon. So excited!

In Run Like a Mother, authors Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea offer both inspirational advice and practical strategies to help multitasking women make running part of their busy lives.

McDowell and Shea understand the various external and internal forces in everyday life that can unintentionally keep a wife--mother--working woman from lacing up her shoes and going for a run. Because the authors are multihyphenates themselves, Run Like a Mother is driven by their own running expertise and real-world experience in ensuring that running is part of their lives.

More than a book, Run Like a Mother is essentially a down-to-earth, encouraging conversation with the reader on all things running, with the overall goal of strengthening a woman's inner athlete.

Of course, real achievement is a healthy mix of inspiration and perspiration, which is why the authors have grounded Run Like a Mother in a host of practical tips on shoes, training, racing, nutrition, and injuries, all designed to help women balance running with their professional and personal lives.

5 weeks and counting....

Just when I think it can't get worse...

Just when I think it can't get worse, IT DOES!

As you know, I have my good days and bad days but as I continue through this pregnancy the "good" days are far and few in between. As I've said over and over, I just don't feel good and I'm huge which doesn't help the matter at all. The worst part is that I continue to expand despite my efforts to eat reasonably well and get out to exercise when my bod allows. Anyway, I figure my time as a pregnant woman is winding up so I can just continue to tough it out. However, yesterday morning I woke up and things had worsened drastically. How in the world??? Literally, just when I think it can't get worse....

I couldn't sleep so I decided to just get up and try to get some work done. This was around 4:30 a.m. When I got up, I discovered my feet were so swollen that they were actually blue. YES...BLUE...not kidding! It was a REALLY bad day. It was a bit shocking I have to say. Basically I could barely walk. The swelling continued throughout the day. I tried to take a walk around the block to get circulation moving but it didn't work. I finally called the doc and she said to relax and elevate my feet. I did and it helped but I'm still massively swollen and now I no longer have knees or ankles...I have cankles. Do you know what cankles are?

This is a cankle!

Trust me...this image doesn't catch the true overwhelmingly scary sight of the cankle but I tried to give you an idea. Just in case you don't clearly understand what a cankle is, here is the definition from Urban Dictionary:

Noun. A sight common among the morbidly obese. The point at which one is so obese that there is no thinning of the leg between the calf and the ankle, which creates a sense of fusion between the two. Consequently "Cankle" comes from the fusion of CAlf and aNKLE.
Good god look at the cankles on that fat lady!

Yep...this is the definition of my ankles or cankles. And, my knees/legs are doing the same thing. There is no knee to be seen. OMG. This is HORRIBLE! 5 weeks 2 days and counting......

6 weeks 4 days and counting...

Throughout this pregnancy I've often wondered how I'll adjust again to the lack of sleep once the baby comes. With Lola, it was never a big issue. I was never really miserable with the lack of sleep. I guess my motherly instinct kicked in and we just made it work. Strange huh?!?!? But even with that, you never know if it will be as easy the second time. Well, over the past week or so, this has been put to the test again. Lola is literally waking up about every 2-3 hours and making a fuss. I told Clay the other night...."Hell, we may as well have an infant with this type sleep."

The night before last she started waking up as early at 11:30 p.m. When she came in the first time I was DEAD asleep. It hurt so bad when she woke us....very painful! Before we had gone to bed that night, Clay and I decided if Lo came in we would start taking her back to her room rather than putting her in our bed hoping to put a stop to this. So, when she came in at 11:30, we trotted her back to her room and got her back to sleep peacefully. We then fell back to sleep and at about 12:15 a.m., here she comes again. Oh Goodness! Luckily, it didn't hurt as bad this time. So, we trotted her back to her room once again, put her to sleep and then we were back to peaceful sleep. I woke up around 2:00 a.m. as my bladder was demanding to be emptied. I got up, looked over and there was Lola...in our bed! How in the world did this happen???? I didn't hear her come back in. Since she was already there sleeping soI just left her. The next morning I asked Clay when Lo came into our room. He said he had no clue as he didn't hear her either. Apparently, that little squirt figured out that if she woke us we would put her back in the big girl bed so she snuck up there on her own at one point in the night. Unbelievable!

Last night was no better. She was up about every 3 hours....screaming no less! Again, may as well be an infant. I'm telling you...she is hell on wheels when she's sleepy. I have to admit, she comes by this honestly (although, I've been much better lately). She also demands the strangest things. Like last night she demanded to tinkle on the "big girl potty" at 3:oo a.m. vs her diaper... SERIOUSLY!!! The only time I'm fine with her going in her pants, she demands to go on the big girl potty...what's that all about?!?!?! It's called manipulation I think. I told her it was fine to tinkle in her diaper at night. I know I shouldn't do this but you have to understand she doesn't really want to tinkle on the big girl potty, she just wants to be a little toot. Again, I think they call this manipulation...right?!?!?! Really, during these times, she'll come up with and say anything just to get a reaction out of us....it always works of course. Anyway, when I told her I was too tired and she could tinkle in her diaper she said "NO! Diapers aren't forever." I knew this term would come back to bite us at one point....Well, it did last night....off to the big girl potty we went. At one point I said to Clay "Ummm...we better get this under control within the next 6 weeks or else we're going to have an issue!" What in the world will we do with a screaming toddler waking up every 2 - 3 hours and a screaming infant waking up every 2-3 hours???? Plus, they'll obviously wake each other up causing what I can only assume would be major chaos. YIKES!

In addition to this, I'm not sure if I've mentioned it but we're also having a HORRIBLE time getting Lo to go to bed at night. It takes at least an hour and consist of lots of yelling "Lola, NO...lay down...it's quite time...time to go to sleep"....."Lola, Lay down now or I'm going down stairs....it's time to go night night NOW."...."Lola I MEAN IT...if you don't lay down and go to sleep NOW then you're in trouble." OH MAN!!! Lets go back just 2 - 3 weeks ago....we would take Lo up to bed every night at the same time, give her a kiss and be off....you wouldn't hear another peep out of her. Not anymore! So, take that and then the fact that she doesn't stay in her room throughout the night and we have issues. I've read all the books which unfortunately were NO HELP!!! We already doing everything they're suggesting. At this point, I have no clue. As usual, I hope it's a phase she'll grow out of. Obviously she'll eventually grow out of it but the only difference with this phase is we need it to happen sooner rather than later. The pressure is on! HELP!!!

Now to the pregnancy....oh the lovely pregnancy...UGH!!! Well, with the lack of sleep, I can't make my 6:00 a.m. workouts anymore. It's just impossible to do that, work all day and then try to survive the evenings. I've found it gets hot very quick in the mornings causing there to be no other time during the day to exercise. So, my exercise has been limited lately to say the least. With this, comes guilt and even more fear than usual to jump on the scale. My next appt is tomorrow...I'm a nervous wreck! Anyhow, you know I've mentioned in past blogs that I'm scared to wake up to look at myself anymore as things seem to continually get worse on a daily basis. I'm really not kidding about this. For example, Tuesday, at the eye doctor, they put me in a chair that faced a huge mirror as big as the wall. I had no choice but to stare at myself...NIGHTMARE!!! During this stare off, I discovered that my boobs and stomach are now one. Yea...you basically can't tell the difference between them. NOT a cute look. Then yesterday morning, I was getting ready and I discovered love handles. AWESOME! How does one manage to have love handles when that area is being stretched very tightly by a huge baby???? THEN, last night I discovered a new stretch mark. I showed Clay and he ever so nicely responded by saying "I don't see what you're talking about." Ha...I know he could clearly see it. I guess this is the appropriate hubby response...deny all things including having the ability to see a crater size indention in your wife's belly. Is this a natural trait husbands have or do they read up on how to respond to a crazy pregnant wife???? THEN, this morning when I was putting on my shorts and tank to go for a "workout" (I use this term lightly b/c I can't move real well so you can hardly call the exercise I get these days a "workout") I discovered back fat! Just in case you don't know...love handles + back fat = muffin top. Again...NOT a pretty look. Oh gosh...what am I going to do?!?!?!?!? Why oh why is this happening to me?!?!?!? Only 6 weeks and 4 days to go...how much worse can it really get....really????????????

6 weeks 6 days and counting...

The weekend is over and now I'm one more week closer to the delivery date. 7 weeks from today I hope to be holding a baby in my arms. I can make it!

Over the weekend I continued to get ready for the baby which consisted of lots of cleaning out and organizing. I think they call this the "nesting" phase. All pregnant women go through it I believe. I'm already obsessive compulsive so throw in this so called "nesting" phase and it makes for a crazy women frantically running around the house. On Sunday, Clay "claimed" he had to go to the office to work all day. I wonder if he really had to work or if he was desperate to get a break from my crazy "nesting" phase???? Think about it...I'm sure he would much rather be at the office in the A/C even if he is working vs cleaning out the back house in 100 degree temperatures. I think I would go with Option A too if I had the choice.

During my craziness, I cleaned out all the kitchen cabinets which included the Tupperware cabinet. Now all of our lids match to a container. Woohoo! I also cleaned out the cabinet with all the bottles, sippy cups, etc. I threw out two bags full of bottles and sippy cups that we'll never use again. Now I know how many bottles we have and how many we need. I also have so much furniture and junk I want to clear out of this house. In order to get to this point, we need to get the back house cleared out. We (I) made additional headway there over the weekend too. I have sent bags and bags and bags of stuff to Goodwill. Literally, just about every morning I load my car up with more stuff to haul to Goodwill. Looking forward to that big tax credit this year:) I've also started sending furniture too. I'm not messing around! At the rate I'm going, before you know it, our house will be blank. Surely Clay will shake some sense into me before we get to that point?!?!?!

I actually don't understand how I continue to clean/haul stuff out of the house but then find more. Believe it or not, things are still a disaster around here. It's never ending!!! I also went through all the bins full of baby stuff. I sent most of Lo's old baby clothes to Goodwill. Maybe I've come to the realization that after this horrid pregnancy I can't do this again so I'm probably not having another girl. When cleaning out the bins, I pulled out all the baby "necessities" we'll be using over the next 6 months. I'm actually surprised that most of it has made it through the move and storage. Lola has LOVED going through all the baby stuff. She's constantly asking "Is this for baby brother?" She demanded that we bring all of it in the house rather than storing it in back for a couple more weeks. I would have preferred storing it a little longer of course, but we hauled the stuff in, got it all cleaned up and Lola was ready to play with it.

Her favorite was the baby rocker. She kept asking us to buckle her up in and rock her while she drank her sippy cup. She actually requested a bottle but I nixed that quickly...we don't need to regress here. When we first put her in it, I couldn't believe that just over 2 yrs ago she was a little nugget in this thing. Now all her limbs are billowing out of it. Unbelievable! I was able to pull a picture from when Lo was just born in the rocker. Can you believe the difference. Where does time go????

Only a few weeks old....Look at this little baby girl...too sweet! She was a near perfect infant.

Today...little Miss Sassy. Not such a perfect toddler but I wouldn't take her any other way!

Lola also loved the baby bath. At one point, she asked me to fill the bath with water so she could bathe her babies so I did. Next thing I know she had stripped off all her clothes and was sitting in the baby bath playing....right in the middle of the living room. It was so cute but it also made me a little sad for her. She's not our baby anymore but yet she still wants to be baby at times. Is she ready for this??? Does she know what's coming???? It made me realize that although she's walking, talking, feeds herself, plays on her own, etc she's still only 2 yrs old and sometimes we may get ahead of ourselves in trying to set boundaries, etc. Seeing her sit there in the baby bath made me feel like maybe we're too hard on her at times... she is still our baby.

Her other favorite toy was the play mat which I'm actually replacing. Bella also loved the play mat and laid on it all day Sunday. When it was time for bed, Lola fought Bella for that mat. She then took it upstairs to bed with her, covered up with it and said "I love my magical blanket". You gotta love a child's imagination....there's nothing better. I guess I can't get rid of the mat anytime soon. I mean what kind of mother would I be if I threw the "magical blanket" out?

Getting all the stuff out made me VERY excited about having another infant around...crying and all. As a matter of fact, at this point, I'm fairly certain I can handle a crying infant far better than I can handle a whining toddler. I really do hope Lola is prepared though. We're working on it as much as possible. Last night she said to me"Mommy, If I'm gentle, can I touch baby brother?" I thought this was so sweet. My reply was "Of course...you can even hold him." She seems really excited and although I know we'll have our challenges, I'm confident we'll work through them...we always do I guess!

Lola in action...

Those of you who have hung out with Lola for any length of time know she not only keeps you on your toes at all times but she's also super funny. I mean...the things this child says never cease to amaze me. Like the other day we were going through Target looking for a kite (or as we like to call it - Tar-Shey), Lola all the sudden got VERY excited then she said "Oh, I see something special!" and pointed to this train toy thing. I realize this is one of those moments when you probably have to be there as it's all in the tone but Clay and I both started rolling laughing. It was such an off the wall comment. Where does a 2 yr old come up with something like this...."something special". Of course, after you laugh at her, she wants to keep you laughing so she'll continue saying the same thing over and over and it's usually not as funny the second or third or fourth time. That day she saw many "special" things at Target.

Last weekend was a big weekend for us. I like to think it was Lola's dream weekend. We went to visit our friends Ashley and Mark and their little girls, Isabel (5 1/2 yrs old) and Caroline (3 1/2 years old), down at Lake Inks. There were lots of kids there for Lo to play with. She had a blast! It was so cute seeing Lola following the little girls around like she was 5 yrs old herself. She would even come up to me and say "Mommy, I need to go potty." FYI...not a normal habit for her. Usually, I constantly have to ask her if she's ready to go to the potty and of course her answer is always "No". I assume she was doing this as she saw the older kids asking their moms the same thing. On one of the trips to the bathroom, Lola said to me "Mommy, Isabel and Caroline keep calling me a baby." I said "Well, you need to tell them you're not a baby anymore that you're a big girl." I could tell she thought about this deeply then she looked at me and said "Yea, I should do that." I wonder if she ended up telling them. If so, I would have loved to be there for that moment.

After the lake fun, we headed back to Austin and stopped for a quick cat nap (mainly for Clay as he stayed up late the night before) and then we were off to Fredericksburg for the horse races. Although I'm sure Lola didn't have a clue what to expect, she was beyond excited about the races. She talked about it non-stop the entire trip down. Horsey this and horsey that. She even started talking about the horseys pooping and then cows pooping. At one point she said "Oh, this is going to be CRAZY!!!" with so much enthusiasm in her voice I thought she was going to burst out of her seat and into the sky. Once we got there, she loved it. She chanted "Go horsey Go!" The crowd got a kick out of that. She also helped Clay choose the bets. We walked away empty handed but that's ok, it was great family fun. We can't wait to go back soon!

The horseys are coming...it's easy to see the excitement on Lo's face!

For some reason, I just loved this pic. Lo was scoping out the crowd at the park and trust me there was lots of scoping to be had....an interesting crowd to say the least!

Here are some of the other funny comments Lo has made over the past 24 hrs:

At escuela the other day, Lo's teachers asked her what she wants to name her baby brother. She told them she wanted to name him "Clementine". Makes sense I guess...it's one of her favorite fruits and she also loves the song...ol' my darling, ol' my darling, ol' my darling Clementine. So, last night I asked her again "Lo, What should we name your baby bro?" She said "Clementine" and then she said "No, no, no,no...I think we should name him Munchkin." Random to come up with such a name right?!?!?! Unfortunately, this name is not going on the list.

I flew in yesterday eve from my trip. Clay had a HH to attend so Lo and I were solo. She kept wanting me to get up to do things. This of course is becoming much more difficult these days. I finally said to her "Lo, I can't get up anymore...I'm exhausted". She replied with such a serious tone "Mommy, You're not exhausted, you're pretty!". I appreciated this very sweet comment considering "pretty" is the last thing I feel right now.

At one point later in the night I thought I heard myself from a distance. Lo was playing around with her paints in the bath while I was getting unpacked. All the sudden I heard her bust out with "Oh man! This is unbelievable!" The water had turned bright blue due to the paint and apparently she was fascinated by this. I started cracking up. The "Oh Man" part really got me as I use this term religiously. Literally, she sounded exactly like me. It was actually a little scary...the last thing we need is a mini-me on our hands....Eeek!

This morning Clay and Lo got up just before me. Clay took Lola down to take her night-time diaper off and put her big girl panties on. Obviously, he didn't put her on the toilet before doing this. Or, maybe he did...I don't know. Anyway, she cruised back upstairs where I was and took it upon herself to tinkle all over the floor/rug for no good reason. I said "Lola, Why in the world would you do such a thing? You only tinkle on the big girl potty". A couple minutes later when I was cleaning the mess up I told Lo "I'm very mad at you for tinkling on the rug." She responded by saying "No. You're not mad at me....I'm too cute!" and gave me a little smirk smile. All I could do was laugh. It was kind of true. I guess she has me figured out. Oh goodness...we have our hands full.

BTW...I never made it to my meeting in Louisiana yesterday. My flight was canceled in Memphis Wednesday night and I couldn't get a flight out early enough yesterday morning. With that, Delta paid for my hotel and I participated in the meeting via conference call from the Marriot in Memphis. So, it was basically a waste of a trip. Well, actually it wasn't. As you know, Lola has not been sleeping well lately. I have to say it was pretty awesome to be in a hotel room and get a full nights sleep even if I had to fly all the way to Memphis to make that happen. I was even able to sleep in yesterday morning. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. but then fell back to sleep until 8:00 a.m. It was wonderful! Somebody was obviously looking out for me b/c this peaceful night away was desperately needed.

Attached is a video of Lo riding her bike. Every Wed is Wheels Day at escuela. It's her favorite day of the week! She always wakes up bright eyed and bushy tailed on Wednesdays in anticipation for Wheels Day. She still needs some work but she's starting to get pretty good at this bike riding thing. I took this video a couple weeks ago but haven't had a chance to post it. You gotta love the helmet....Safety first! After last years big crash, she will not get on the bike without it. Enjoy!

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Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Rocker is on order!

I'm pretty pumped about our new rocker which is on order now and scheduled to ship out on 9/17/10. Perfect timing for the baby. I didn't have a rocker with Lola. I used the ever so handy yoga ball which actually worked great! Looking back, I don't necessarily feel I needed a rocker but it would have been a definite perk to have one. I wasn't really planning to get one for this baby either. Figured I would just give the yoga ball another go at it. However, I think Clay has been looking for an excuse to order an Eames chair for a long, long, long time. He actually did this without consulting me but I'm thrilled with the purchase.

I'm very happy to announce that I have very few things left on my baby "to do" list. I'm still waiting for the chair and pillows to be done for the nursery. Their in the works now. Once I receive those, nursery/Lo's room will be complete...check! I also stocked up on baby onsies and some cute little outfits for the bambino....check! At least enough to get us through the first month or so. These are two of my fav onsies Minishatsu - http://www.minishatsu.com/. They have some fun stuff!

I also signed up for a cloth diaper service (http://austindiapers.com/) ....check! I'm hoping having a service will make the cloth diaper thing a little easier this round. They basically deliver and pick everything up on a weekly basis. Lets see....Oh, I also signed up for a running group that starts 11/1/10...check! This will be perfect timing for me to get back into the running groove. I'm not sure I'll be ready for the Austin half marathon but I should be able to do a 10K by March and will look for a late Spring half marathon to run. Woohoo!

I still need to invest in a changing table for downstairs. I figure I can get a cheap one at Ikea. Then, we'll need to get some new bottles (all glass this round) and I also need a new play mat. I'll get all this at http://www.giggle.com/ to keep it easy. Other than that, we're all set for baby G. Yea! Oh wait...other than a name or a list of names. Hmmmm...I guess we'll need to talk about that at one point. Or, we can always save that task for the hospital...will give us something to do. I can't believe how organized I've been this round. It feels really good!

Also, I have more great news. I've switched up my vitamins and it seems it's drastically helped the way I feel both emotionally and physically (other than the pre-term labor scare last weekend but that's a whole other story). With the change, I think I'm much more pleasant to be around. I know I can deal with myself a lot easier now. It's actually been just over a week since I last shed a tear. That has not happened this entire pregnancy. What a relief! If only I would have figured this out about 7 months ago that would have been awesome. It could also be that I'm starting to see the light and just becoming more optimistic. Either way...I'll take it!

Heading of to Louisiana today...will be back late tomorrow night. My last business trip before I'm grounded for good. Hope to post some more Lola updates later this week! She has been full of funny funny comments lately.

It's 3:47 a.m. and I'm awake...

Nights haven't been so great lately. Especially when you have a screaming 2 yr old that wakes you just about every night. Then, half the time I'm unable to fall back to sleep. So here I am....typing instead of sleeping. This is my life right now....basically a ball of stress.

Lola, Lola, Lola....We're going through a rough, rough, rough phase right now. It includes lots of whining and crying and more whining which is one of the things I hate most. Well, Lola is constantly doing it lately. At this point, I don't know what to do to get her back under control. I've done my fair share of screaming at her when I reach my limit and that doesn't help anything at all! It actually makes me feel HORRIBLE after the fact. And, I've also had the sudden crying breakdowns in reaction to one of her whining fits. Again, doesn't help so much. Nothing like reacting to a whining crying child by crying. That's kind of like reacting to a kid that hits by hitting them. Not such a good parent move.

Anyway, tonight has been horrible but unfortunately nothing out of the ordinary. Lola came into our room whining at about 3:00ish... "I want some leche." That's fine, I can handle that. Then she kicks it up a gear and starts yelling/crying in this horrible whiny tone "My pillow, my pillow, my pillow." So, I try to fix her pillow "NO, only daddy fix it!" Then it's "NO, not that way, not that way...it's upside down! NO, not that way!" All of this in a mind boggling loud whiny/crying/screaming voice that is so irritating it makes you want to jump out a window. How a girl so cute can be so irritating I'll never know. Literally, took us 10 minutes to get the pillow exactly how she wanted it. Then she lays and keeps with the whining "My blanket, my blanket"....Clay tries to reach to put on the blanket and then we get a "NO, only Mommy put the blanket on me!" So I try to put on the blanket and it took at least 7 attempts to get the blanket exactly right. Princess much!?!?!? Then we try to change her diaper as it's soaked "NO, don't change my diaper!" Ok. So we all lay and try to go back to sleep until we hear the screaming whine again not even 30 seconds later "I tee-teed on Mommy & Daddy's bed! I need to go to the big girl potty!" So we're back up. I think you get the point. This goes on for a good 30 minutes...HUH!!!

Now here I am wondering what in the world to do. I feel like things have gotten completely out of control. I realize we should just ignore her but you try that at 3:00 a.m and see how that works. We'll do anything to get back to sleep. Of course, I'm not doing well with the day time whining either. I've found I reach a point where I'll do ANYTHING to get her to shut up which includes giving her a popsicle or buying her a balloon...hell, I'd buy her the Eiffel Tower just to get her to shut it sometimes. All things you shouldn't do...major NOs in addressing this issue but my nerves just aren't taking this well at all. Of course, reacting like this only makes matters worse I know. So, back to the books. We'll have to read up and figure how in the hell to get ourselves out of this phase. Lord help us...

On another note, the pregnancy hasn't gotten much better. At this point, I'm huge...and not just pregnant belly huge but huge all over. When I put my legs up on a table and pull them away there will be HUGE indention due to the fact that I'm massively swollen. Or, even if I wear something as light and airy as leggings, once I peel them off the bod (and I do have to literally peel things off myself these days) they too leave indentions. Really??? How does that happen??? And then there was the bra. We have to wear them I guess but I've developed a great disdain for them. My circulation is being cut off all day long by the lovely bra. I won't even tell you what size I'm wearing now and still by the end of the day I can't rip it off soon enough b/c I'm in such pain. I then have Clay or Lola scratch my back to help relieve the pain. I actually have a permanent indention at this point. Really and truly...permanent! There is no exaggeration involved in these statements...I promise! Basically nothing fits and I still have 2 months to go. I want to be in a dress and/or shorts/tanks at all time but I hate to expose my legs and arms. As a matter of fact, as of last night, I've decided I'm officially banned from wearing tank tops, sleeveless, etc in public. Yep, it's just that bad.

In summary, I'm not a cute pregnant woman AT ALL. I'm a walking puff ball. I mean the other morning when I was putting on my jeans (despite the fact that it's going to be 99 degrees and 99% humidity), it took me like 3 minutes to work up the energy to pull them up as it takes so much effort to just get them onto this bod. Not even kidding. Lola said "Mommy, what's wrong?" I had to explain to her that it is VERY difficult for Mommy to get my jeans over my booty. I would have used the term "fat booty" but I try not to use terms such of this in front of her as I don't want her to grow up with self image issues. I mean at this point putting on panties is even difficult. Goodness!

Lets see...what else....I can only wear ugly flip flops. That's it! Ugly, horrible flip flops 24/7. I had to eliminate the shoes with buckles a while back as it became too hard to position my body in such a way to get them buckled. Once I got to the point where it was taking me 15 minutes just to put on shoes, I decided it was time to move on. But no fear...I was resourceful and found some cute new sandals with zippers in the back. Much easier to manage and get on. Now, well, my feet will barely squish in those anymore. When I do get them squished in, it's pure misery!

Here's the worse part of it...all of this I've just described is not something that only occurs in the evenings after a long day. I wake up with this puffiness now. Yep, 24/7 puffiness...not fun! I hope to goodness a good bit of this is water weight....if not, we're in trouble. Also, I now can't wear my wedding band and I constantly feel like my eyes are squinting due to my face being a puff ball. On top of this, every step I take is excruciating as the baby is apparently sitting on my bladder just perfectly. So, each step I feel my bladder squish and it hurts bad. The same thing happens with each baby kick, my bladder feels it more than anything and I just cringe while trying not to pee in my panties. Nice. Last week I told Clay I wish I could just live on the toilet for the next two months. It certainly would save me a lot of time and the energy of getting up and down from the toilet. Oh and I almost forgot the best part of all....last night I discovered crater style stretch marks. NOOOOO!!! What am I going to do??? I have only gained 2 lbs since my last doc visit. Did these 2 lbs really cause these stretch marks to appear???? If so, what in the world is going to happen over the next 2 months as the lbs continue to pile on???? They say you gain 1 lb per week so an additional 8 lbs is going to equate into a lot of stretch marks I would assume. Right???? Literally, on a daily basis I feel the bod gets worse and worse. I'm scared to wake up anymore. At this point, the way things are going, I'm fairly certain by the end of this pregnancy I'll be one of those women who is so swollen my eyes will be little slits. Only 2 months to go...I can do it....

After all the complaining this morning (very early morning), I guess I should end the blog on a happy note. Happy note #1 - it's cooling down this weekend...YEA! Maybe this will help my swelling a bit. Bad news is we're going to the lake to visit some friends which translates into bathing suit...YIKES! Happy note #2 - Pics of the adorable Lola and Curry. Two cute babies can always make you a happy camper right?!?!? As you can tell from the pics, it's VERY hard to capture a good picture with a toddler and a 6 month old. Especially when you have a toddler that refuses to smile for the camera...what's that all about anyway???

We worked hard to get a good pic but this is the best we could get!

In order to get that one Ok shot of the two cousins above, we went through this...Curry falling and Lola trying to help by aggressively pulling her arm.

More pulling...

The not so gentle hug...

We thought we'd move the photo shoot outside in an attempt to capture a perfect picture. This is what I get when I asked Lola to smile....a puffy lip. Nice! Do you think she's being bratty????

And then we get this....a lovely toddler fit. Why Lola Why? At this point, I made an executive decision to abandon the photo shoot. I guess there is something to a professional photographer.