July 3, 2010

It's 3:47 a.m. and I'm awake...

Nights haven't been so great lately. Especially when you have a screaming 2 yr old that wakes you just about every night. Then, half the time I'm unable to fall back to sleep. So here I am....typing instead of sleeping. This is my life right now....basically a ball of stress.

Lola, Lola, Lola....We're going through a rough, rough, rough phase right now. It includes lots of whining and crying and more whining which is one of the things I hate most. Well, Lola is constantly doing it lately. At this point, I don't know what to do to get her back under control. I've done my fair share of screaming at her when I reach my limit and that doesn't help anything at all! It actually makes me feel HORRIBLE after the fact. And, I've also had the sudden crying breakdowns in reaction to one of her whining fits. Again, doesn't help so much. Nothing like reacting to a whining crying child by crying. That's kind of like reacting to a kid that hits by hitting them. Not such a good parent move.

Anyway, tonight has been horrible but unfortunately nothing out of the ordinary. Lola came into our room whining at about 3:00ish... "I want some leche." That's fine, I can handle that. Then she kicks it up a gear and starts yelling/crying in this horrible whiny tone "My pillow, my pillow, my pillow." So, I try to fix her pillow "NO, only daddy fix it!" Then it's "NO, not that way, not that way...it's upside down! NO, not that way!" All of this in a mind boggling loud whiny/crying/screaming voice that is so irritating it makes you want to jump out a window. How a girl so cute can be so irritating I'll never know. Literally, took us 10 minutes to get the pillow exactly how she wanted it. Then she lays and keeps with the whining "My blanket, my blanket"....Clay tries to reach to put on the blanket and then we get a "NO, only Mommy put the blanket on me!" So I try to put on the blanket and it took at least 7 attempts to get the blanket exactly right. Princess much!?!?!? Then we try to change her diaper as it's soaked "NO, don't change my diaper!" Ok. So we all lay and try to go back to sleep until we hear the screaming whine again not even 30 seconds later "I tee-teed on Mommy & Daddy's bed! I need to go to the big girl potty!" So we're back up. I think you get the point. This goes on for a good 30 minutes...HUH!!!

Now here I am wondering what in the world to do. I feel like things have gotten completely out of control. I realize we should just ignore her but you try that at 3:00 a.m and see how that works. We'll do anything to get back to sleep. Of course, I'm not doing well with the day time whining either. I've found I reach a point where I'll do ANYTHING to get her to shut up which includes giving her a popsicle or buying her a balloon...hell, I'd buy her the Eiffel Tower just to get her to shut it sometimes. All things you shouldn't do...major NOs in addressing this issue but my nerves just aren't taking this well at all. Of course, reacting like this only makes matters worse I know. So, back to the books. We'll have to read up and figure how in the hell to get ourselves out of this phase. Lord help us...

On another note, the pregnancy hasn't gotten much better. At this point, I'm huge...and not just pregnant belly huge but huge all over. When I put my legs up on a table and pull them away there will be HUGE indention due to the fact that I'm massively swollen. Or, even if I wear something as light and airy as leggings, once I peel them off the bod (and I do have to literally peel things off myself these days) they too leave indentions. Really??? How does that happen??? And then there was the bra. We have to wear them I guess but I've developed a great disdain for them. My circulation is being cut off all day long by the lovely bra. I won't even tell you what size I'm wearing now and still by the end of the day I can't rip it off soon enough b/c I'm in such pain. I then have Clay or Lola scratch my back to help relieve the pain. I actually have a permanent indention at this point. Really and truly...permanent! There is no exaggeration involved in these statements...I promise! Basically nothing fits and I still have 2 months to go. I want to be in a dress and/or shorts/tanks at all time but I hate to expose my legs and arms. As a matter of fact, as of last night, I've decided I'm officially banned from wearing tank tops, sleeveless, etc in public. Yep, it's just that bad.

In summary, I'm not a cute pregnant woman AT ALL. I'm a walking puff ball. I mean the other morning when I was putting on my jeans (despite the fact that it's going to be 99 degrees and 99% humidity), it took me like 3 minutes to work up the energy to pull them up as it takes so much effort to just get them onto this bod. Not even kidding. Lola said "Mommy, what's wrong?" I had to explain to her that it is VERY difficult for Mommy to get my jeans over my booty. I would have used the term "fat booty" but I try not to use terms such of this in front of her as I don't want her to grow up with self image issues. I mean at this point putting on panties is even difficult. Goodness!

Lets see...what else....I can only wear ugly flip flops. That's it! Ugly, horrible flip flops 24/7. I had to eliminate the shoes with buckles a while back as it became too hard to position my body in such a way to get them buckled. Once I got to the point where it was taking me 15 minutes just to put on shoes, I decided it was time to move on. But no fear...I was resourceful and found some cute new sandals with zippers in the back. Much easier to manage and get on. Now, well, my feet will barely squish in those anymore. When I do get them squished in, it's pure misery!

Here's the worse part of it...all of this I've just described is not something that only occurs in the evenings after a long day. I wake up with this puffiness now. Yep, 24/7 puffiness...not fun! I hope to goodness a good bit of this is water weight....if not, we're in trouble. Also, I now can't wear my wedding band and I constantly feel like my eyes are squinting due to my face being a puff ball. On top of this, every step I take is excruciating as the baby is apparently sitting on my bladder just perfectly. So, each step I feel my bladder squish and it hurts bad. The same thing happens with each baby kick, my bladder feels it more than anything and I just cringe while trying not to pee in my panties. Nice. Last week I told Clay I wish I could just live on the toilet for the next two months. It certainly would save me a lot of time and the energy of getting up and down from the toilet. Oh and I almost forgot the best part of all....last night I discovered crater style stretch marks. NOOOOO!!! What am I going to do??? I have only gained 2 lbs since my last doc visit. Did these 2 lbs really cause these stretch marks to appear???? If so, what in the world is going to happen over the next 2 months as the lbs continue to pile on???? They say you gain 1 lb per week so an additional 8 lbs is going to equate into a lot of stretch marks I would assume. Right???? Literally, on a daily basis I feel the bod gets worse and worse. I'm scared to wake up anymore. At this point, the way things are going, I'm fairly certain by the end of this pregnancy I'll be one of those women who is so swollen my eyes will be little slits. Only 2 months to go...I can do it....

After all the complaining this morning (very early morning), I guess I should end the blog on a happy note. Happy note #1 - it's cooling down this weekend...YEA! Maybe this will help my swelling a bit. Bad news is we're going to the lake to visit some friends which translates into bathing suit...YIKES! Happy note #2 - Pics of the adorable Lola and Curry. Two cute babies can always make you a happy camper right?!?!? As you can tell from the pics, it's VERY hard to capture a good picture with a toddler and a 6 month old. Especially when you have a toddler that refuses to smile for the camera...what's that all about anyway???

We worked hard to get a good pic but this is the best we could get!

In order to get that one Ok shot of the two cousins above, we went through this...Curry falling and Lola trying to help by aggressively pulling her arm.

More pulling...

The not so gentle hug...

We thought we'd move the photo shoot outside in an attempt to capture a perfect picture. This is what I get when I asked Lola to smile....a puffy lip. Nice! Do you think she's being bratty????

And then we get this....a lovely toddler fit. Why Lola Why? At this point, I made an executive decision to abandon the photo shoot. I guess there is something to a professional photographer.

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